she on her own ............and its killing her.

she tried to kill herself again. this time its not solely about her husband anymore. this time it was about her. about her being the black sheep. the one who ppl laughs and scoffs at. the one who should have died long time ago.

she dont care for her kids anymore. she said they are big enough to care for themselves. yes, this is because all her kids are not staying with her. even the youngest one who is still studying lives at her god-mom's place which is the opposite row of her own house. she only listened to her son. but when i tried to reach her son, i cant help but thinking that he turned off his phone like what the sister told me. how could he off his phone?! he is the one his mom loved best, the one whom her mom is most proud of! I know it has been a very difficult period for them, what with my sis tried to kill herself repeatedly over the last few months, with things getting worse each time. but still..............families dont give up on family member who is sick ! no. he didnt turned off his phone. there could be no coverage.

she turned to drugs for solace from her low self esteem. her lack of friends makes her believes that those junkies are her true friends. she have family, we are all here for her. but I came to realise tonight that she need not her family, she needs people who understands her, family or friends. she needs an understanding.

she is on a world of her own now. a very delusional place. right wrong true false are all over the place. that place of her is very scary and she is alone there.

aunkia

ahtiow miss blogging

I miss blogging.

But cant get myself to blog. There were things that I wanted to blog. Ideas. Happenings. Thoughts. But still, cant. Writer's block.

Btw, Stereophonics is a great band! =)

Cheers
ahtiow