Musings for the past weeks

Every action have an equal and opposite reactions.
Cause and effect.
Fate.
Destiny.

Big words, big meanings, comprehensive yet sometimes hard to comprehend, those words and sentences above. We're all bound by them, believe it or not, like it or not. We all are.

Been contemplating the above for the last few weeks.
Remember there was once when Liyan's dad asked me why did I stay so long at Singapore with a pay of SGD 2k? I know I was going nowhere with the pay I was getting. I did not know how to answer him, I just answered: "My family was there, plus there were some problems going on with some of my family members" Fact is, now that I think of it: I stayed there so that Liyan could start her attachment program at UWS and so that I could mutter enough confidence to start seeing someone. She always says how she hated me for not taking her hand earlier, well, if I took her in earlier, I might still hold back some of me and it will not be the whole me. See, cause and effect, some people liked to think of that as fate, some destiny.

There was a period of time that lasted for more than a month when Liyan finished her study and moved back here while I was still in Singapore, we quarreled so much about me wanting to stay a year more in SG so that I could save up more before I move to China. While we all wanted her to look for a job when she herself couldnt ever picture herself working for others if the job is not something that she really wanted. And all she really wanted was to work on a career that she started her own. The fights were so intense that I never knew I could fight that well and that much. It hurts so much back then. If we did not insisted on both our insistence (me: To stay until I get the bonus, her: Not to settle on any job that she do not really like), I might have moved here earlier, or we could have started something else in Malaysia. If we did any of those, we will not have worked on our current project which is something that we both liked and so excited to work on!

If not for the above, I would not be so mushily holding on to her and pressed my face on her back while she brushes her teeth and I smiled endlessly and she giggled so hard and struggled to finish brushing her teeth. If not for the above, I would not have stayed up and wrote this and you would not be reading this.

So, to all my dear friends who reads this: Cherish the present, be good always for you will not know how it will affect the outcome and when the effects will take place. And do not ever, doesnt matter how much you got hurt, to do or say something to purposely hurt the people who cares for you and whom you cares, for you will double the hurt, says Newton's 3rd Law.


Hugs,
ahtiow

p/s: Luo Er, thanks for the FB chat! You rocks chatrooms!

Yay!!! The long awaited confirmation email!!

Yay!!!! Have finally got the long awaited (so long that we sometime thinks, without saying it out loud, that we did not get the tender) email that confirms us as the operator for Mr Bean Singapore's outlets in Guangzhou!!

Yes, Mr Bean has been our project for the last few months, they're expanding their operations in China, after the success in Japan.

This is officially the big turning point of my life book's chapters. That marks the transition from me working for my bosses, this time around, I'll be working for my staff! And together we'll introduce a new revolution that will see the everyday scene of the locales having a bubble tea drinks in their hands while walking the street to a Mr Bean drink in their hand and to have them acknowledge the change as being a change for the better!

Am excited much!


Hugs!
Ahtiow

Whew!!!!!

...in continuation of the last post regarding the waiting for the email:

Received an email from them, and as expected, it is not the email from them that finally tells us that we have been confirmed as their partner here, it is an email that tells us that they are having difficulties getting their raw materials into China. This came as a relief and also as an explanation why there was no words from them for almost 2 weeks since the last meeting we had with them that went well.

Well, guess we'll be waiting for some time more before we can kickstart the plan.

Till then, will tell you guys what we have been working on since I moved here in May. =P

Don't be surprised if I am still 'jobless' when I meet/talk with any of you guys. It's ok to wait, cause its not an easy thing for a foreign company to enter China market. Most important is, it's ok to wait on a project that all of us feels so good working on it and so comfortable with the partners whom we'll be working with.

It's easier to decide, its the wait that's hard.

Am still going strong here! =)


Hugs,
ahtiow

The wait

Just when things starts to looks as if its gonna happen for real, there gotta be a pause - a period of blackouts where you are put on hold not knowing what to expect. The actions and reactions contradicts the expectations and things that actually do happens.

I need to have an answer soon, the waiting has started to creep on me and I'm starting to question things. Jumbled.

I am now almost always checking my mailbox for a reply from them. No I am not expecting a final yes, I am expecting a mail that shows that I am still in the run as a candidate.

I want to know that the unreplied emails are only to be replied once they have firmed up the next steps for our partnership.

I am not losing it, I am standing on the edge and the pedestal on the edge is not normally wide enough to be comfortable to stand on and its usually windy and wobbly.



I need some distractions, really.


Hugs,
Currently Entrepreneuring Ahtiow

My body, my mind, myself

......where is it? I miss them. This body and mind I have now does not feels like they belong to me. They're always too tired and stiff. Ahtiow's body and mind should not be like this. No.

Pillar of pillars

Sometimes I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know who to trust now. I can't grasp what's happening around me. I can't foresee the immediate road ahead. My mind's a jumble now. A mess.

I have some pillars of which to lean on from time to time. Some given to me, some created by me. The pillar that she is providing is the strongest one for me now. Soon, no matter what I do, most, if not all, shall be together with her, for her. No more me for myself.


The Guardian and The Guarded

Things are very messy as it is now for me, I should not let things grasp the slimmest chance that it can have to mess things up further for me. I can't and I don't want to take shit anymore.

Family's family, friend's are friends, things shall go ahead with me and her in the front, then the formers will have to be put behind for now, at least.

I still care a lot for my family, I will always be. I will always be the son, the youngest brother, the uncle, the me.

Now, I won't expect changes, it will be me making changes from now on.

Hugs,
me

A reminder to self

"With the moonlight to guide you, feel the joy of being alive, the day that you stop running is the day that you arrive, and the night that you got locked in was the night that you decide, stop chasing shadows just enjoy the ride" - Enjoy the Ride, Morcheeba

- A reminder to self: Life is a continuous process, do what I gotta do for now while constantly be grateful for all the good things thats happening around me. Its ok to be constantly on the run. What's important is to know when to take a breather. Don't stop for too long, procrastinations will get me nowhere. No matter how hard it is, you will stop running once you reach your destination. Keep the destinations in mind and enjoy the roads! By the way, ahtiow, don't forget, you are not alone in all this, you have your other half running with you now! =)

Love,
ahtiow